A Scientist’s Spiritual Awakening

By Jeff Warren on Saturday April 27th, 2019

The Neuroscience of Awakening

It was 1972 at Penn State University, and Gary Weber, a 29-year old materials science PhD student, had a problem with his brain. It kept generating thoughts! He had a continuous and oppressive stream of neurotic concerns about his life, his studies, and everything else. While most human beings would consider this par for the course; par for the human condition (or ‘cogito ergo sum’, which can be translated as “I think therefore I am”), Weber wouldn’t accept it. He was a scientist, a systematizer, a process guy. He liked to figure out how things worked, and how they could be tweaked to work more efficiently. And at that moment his brain wasn’t very efficient. It expended a lot of energy going over and over the same anxieties, and cravings, and storylines. “Most of these thoughts had no purpose,” he said. “They were not going to cure cancer.”

It so happened that shortly after he recognized the problem, in one of those little life coincidences that some people like to call ‘synchronicities,’ Weber picked up a slim volume of poetry on his way out of the library. He sat down on the green grass in front of the University admin building, unpacked his lunch and idly opened the book. He read:

All beings are, from the very beginning, Buddhas. – Haikuin Ekaku

This is the first line of a famous Zen poem – Song of Zazen – written in the 18th century by the Japanese Buddhist teacher Hakuin Ekaku. Weber knew nothing of Zen. Still, within seconds of reading Ekaku’s words, according to Weber: “the entire world just opened up. I mean it literally opened up. For what must have been thirty or forty minutes, I dropped into this magnificent expansiveness – a vast empty space without any thoughts whatsoever.”

Alt text hereWeber knew another way was possible. Image: Ashley Batz

Weber had had what in Zen is called a ‘kensho’ – an awakening; a glimpse into the unconditioned, a mystical phenomenon described in different ways by countless texts and countless teachers, in countless traditions. It was a profound experience, but like so many such experiences, it didn’t last. Weber’s thoughts returned – as insistent and clamorous as ever. But now Weber knew another way was possible. He was determined.

A Spiritual Life in a Scientific World

For the next 25 years, as Weber finished his PhD; married and raised two kids, and made his way through a string of industry jobs – eventually culminating in a senior management position, running the R&D operations of a big manufacturing business – he got spiritual. He read lots of books, he meditated with Zen teachers, mastered complicated yoga postures, and practiced what is known in Vedic philosophy as ‘self-inquiry’ – a way of directing attention backwards into the center of the mind. To make time for all this, Weber would get up at 4am and put in two hours of spiritual practice before work.

Although he says he never had the sense he was making progress, Weber kept at it anyway. Then, on a morning like any other, something happened. He got into a yoga pose – a pose he had done thousands of times before – and when he moved out of it, his thoughts stopped. Permanently. “That was fourteen years ago,” says Weber. “I entered into a state of complete inner stillness. Except for a few stray thoughts first thing in the morning, and a few more when my blood sugar gets low, my mind is quiet. The old thought-track has never come back.”

Of course, the fact that Weber is telling this story at all would seem to contradict this rather dramatic claim. Conventional wisdom tells us that talk is the verbal expression of thinking; separating the two makes no sense. And yet, this is the experience Weber reports. And at the time he didn’t care if it was theoretically impossible. What he cared about was that in an hour he needed to go to work, where he was supposed to run four research labs, manage a thousand employees, and a quarter of a billion dollar budget, and he had no thoughts. How was that going to work?

Alt text hereDMN refers to high levels of brain activity, even when a person is at rest. Image: Jacob Townsend

“There was no problem at all,” Weber says, which he admits may say more about corporate management than about him. “No one noticed. I’d go into a meeting with nothing prepared, no list of points in my head. I’d just sit there and wait to see what came up. And what came up when I opened my mouth were solutions to problems smarter, and more elegant than any I could have developed on my own.”

Over time, Weber figured out that it wasn’t that all his thoughts had disappeared, rather, a particular kind of self-referential thinking had cut out what he calls “the blah blah network.” Scientists now refer to this as the “default mode network” (DMN), that is, the endlessly ruminative story of me: the obsessive list-maker, the anxious scenario planner, the distracted daydreamer. This is the part of the thinking process we default to when not engaged in a specific task.

“What’s fascinating to me,” Weber says, “is I can still reason and problem solve, I just don’t have this ongoing emotionally-charged, self-referential narrative gobbling up bandwidth.”
But the real surprise for Weber is what disappeared along with the “me” narrative: any sense of being a separate self, and with it, all mental and emotional suffering. He has a theory about this: “If you look at the self-referential narrative, it’s all ‘I, me, mine.’ When that cuts out, the ‘I’ goes with it. Now, for me, it’s very quiet and peaceful inside – there’s no sense of wanting things to be other than they are, and no ‘I’ to grab hold of ‘I want, I desire, I lust.’” Although his case is extreme, Weber’s experience is in line with research showing that more DMN activation correlates with more unhappiness – ‘A Wandering Mind is an Unhappy Mind’, as the title of one well-known paper puts it.

Weber has even found the changes have carried over into his emotional life: “I still get angry, but it’s different now. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I feel the energy come up, but it doesn’t go anyplace. There’s no chasing somebody down the highway. The anger dissipates immediately – it doesn’t carry forward. You don’t lose the typical neural responses – thank goodness – what you lose is the desire leading up to them, and, once the response passes, you don’t make up a story about what happened that you repeat again and again in your head. Those storylines are gone.”

The Brain Exploration Begins

Like other scientists before him who’ve experienced similar transformations – the neuroscientist James Austin, the neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor, to name two examples – Weber got interested in what was going on his brain. He connected with a neuroscientist at Yale University named Judson Brewer, who was studying how the DMN changes in response to meditation. He found, as expected, that experienced meditators had lower DMN activation when meditating.

Alt text hereNeuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor experienced her “awakening” when she had a stroke.

But when Brewer put Weber in the scanner he found the opposite pattern: Weber’s baseline was already a relatively deactivated DMN. Trying to meditate – making any kind of deliberate effort – actually disrupted his peace. In other words, Weber’s normal state was a kind of meditative letting go, something Brewer had only seen a few times previously, and other researchers had, until then, only reported anecdotally.

And here we come to a subtle but important difference of opinion between Weber and Brewer. For Weber, true letting go means arriving at a state of “no-thought” where the mind is permanently stilled of any kind of “bandwidth-gobbling” inner monologue. Creative thoughts, planning thoughts – these are fine, and are, according to Weber, served by completely different parts of the brain. The real suffering happens in the endless and exhausting internal monologue. Thus, he argues, working to extinguish these kinds of thoughts should be the explicit goal of practice, something he says other contemplative traditions also emphasize.

By contrast, further study has suggested to Brewer that the thoughts themselves – even a certain amount of the self-referential kind – may not actually be the problem; the real problem is our human tendency to fixate and grip and get “caught up” in these thoughts. Some of his subjects attained dramatic reductions in DMN activity, while still thinking in a self-referential way. They just weren’t attached to their ruminations. One subject described watching his thoughts “flow by.” As Buddhists have long argued, you don’t need to eliminate the self-thinking process, you just need to change your relationship to it.

Whatever the exact case, both men agree that a reduction of activity in the DMN is central to the elimination of suffering. That it is being discussed at all marks an important advance in the scientific study of meditation in particular, and spiritual practice in general. Many researchers have shown unequivocally that stress and suffering can be dramatically reduced by meditation and by mindfulness in life. But they have not yet shown why this is so.

Alt text hereWith more scientific research, we may unlock the mystery to the power of meditation. Image: Mor Shani

Have Brewer and his colleagues finally found a clue to how the reduction of suffering looks in the brain? Not the activation of a specific region, but a more general deactivation; a neurological “letting go” that parallels the experiential one?  “Even in novices we saw a relative deactivation across the brain – like the brain was saying, “Oh thank God I can let go. I don’t have to do stuff; I don’t have to do all this high energy maintenance of myself”. One interpretation of that – and there are many others – is that the brain knows what it needs to do. It’s a very efficient machine; we just have to stop getting in the way.”

This kind of neurobiological perspective is a movement towards what Brewer calls “evidence-based faith,” where science may be able to help teachers and practitioners fine-tune the approaches they take to practice. Contemplatives may recoil at the idea, but for Brewer, addressing suffering is the priority; a project science can help with. As proof-of-concept, Brewer has just published two studies that show how meditators can watch live feedback from their brains inside the fMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) and use it to decrease their DMN activation in real-time. And he’s just received an NIH grant to study how this could work for non-meditators more quickly, and hopefully one day, more affordably. “The aim is to see if neurofeedback can give regular folks feedback on subtle aspects of their experience …stuff they wouldn’t notice otherwise.” he says.

Weber agrees, “Right now we can get folks off the street, and within one or two runs in the Yale fMRI, they can produce this deactivated state. The more glimpses the brain gets, the more time it spends there, the more it can stay there. It’s like riding a bike. With this technology you may not have to spend twenty-five years practicing like I did. It’s much more efficient.”

How do you feel about this article? Join the conversation.




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39 Responses to A Scientist’s Spiritual Awakening

  1. Pasquale – I think you might be looking for Franklin Merrell-Wolff. Just google that name to see if that is your person. Books: Pathways through to Space -&- The Philosophy of Consciousness without an Object.

    Also … I have used ideo-dynamic hypnotic induction methods in my practice for nearly 30 years to consistently and reliably turn off the DMN.

    Ahh … sweet silence!

  2. I started training with NeurOptimal neurofeedback a month and a half ago, and have done ten sessions so far. My sleep patterns, which were chaotic and left me frequently exhausted, stabilized after about three sessions and the change seems to be permanent. I’ve noticed a subtle weakening in my OCD, ADHD, anxiety, moodiness and craving for alcohol after ten sessions of half an hour each.

    IMO thus far this form of neurofeedback is like 100 half-hour meditation sessions packed into one, with no effort on my part. No exaggeration, as meditation is extremely difficult for me due to past abuse of my brain through prescription drug addiction and my OCD and ADHD.

    I don’t know how far this can go in 2019 but it will surely build a strong foundation for pursuing enlightenment, like lifting weights before you hit the playing field. I will keep this page updated.

    • Hi, in case you haven’t still found the person you are looking for, perhaps its A. Parthasarathy. Another possibility is Eknath Eswaran but I’m unaware of him having a daughter who is continuing his work.

    • I’d be interested to know how you are now. Addiction is a hard thing to deal with. It messes with your mind when you want to quit so badly, but you are the one that keeps taking the substance. As far as as a awakening is concernedabout curious to know if you experienced one. If not, what is your idea if what you would expect it to be like?

  3. Can you help me find the name of another scientist who had an awakening and then devoted his entire life to studying his own conciousness. He started a retreat center in California. He was mainly associated with Vedanta, but studied Buddhism, too. He wrote a few books. He was a mathimatition ,Philosopher or psychologist, his daughter followed his footsteps. What is his name?

    • Hi Pasquale, from searching the details you give here, unfortunately, I can’t find the person you’re looking for, however, I will ask around our office in case someone else knows.

      Team UPLIFT

  4. This is the first line of a famous Zen poem – Song of Zazen – written in the 18th century by the Japanese Buddhist teacher Hakuin Ekaku. Weber knew nothing of Zen. Still, within seconds of reading Ekaku’s words, according to Weber: “the entire world just opened up. I mean it literally opened up. For what must have been thirty or forty minutes, I dropped into this magnificent expansiveness – a vast empty space without any thoughts whatsoever.”

  5. Several years ago I meditated to the “no thoughts” boundary and scared the hell out of myself..a portal opened and I was looking down on a beautiful iron bridge on a wide city river. The clarity was amazing. There was a woman and child walking on the river prominade…they wore 1890 type clothing. I was vibrating like a tuning fork, hyperventilating, and the hairs on my body were all stanging up. My wife was beside me and witnessed it. It was more memorable than any other life experience I’ve had in my entire 68 yr life including sex.

  6. I know the affordable way to be in that state 🙂 without long time meditation 🧘‍♀️
    This is totally what I’m learning.

  7. What a wonderful and inspiring article! I too, have experienced a state of complete “no-thing-ness”. I practice many forms of meditation and have found that Centering Prayer seems to be the most effective for me. However, there are days when I’m just not able to quiet my mind enough for a comfortable sit and I resort to another form of mediation with more guidance. I’m curious to know if there is a specific form of mediation used for these studies? Thank you for your dedication to this research and for sharing it’s important ramifications with us! Well Wishes, Tyler Dawn

  8. I believe that this is what Jesus The Christ calls “the peace that passes all understanding”
    The state of bliss. Kensho. Satori. Wherever the word we assign to this state that is without explanation!!
    Words cannot ever do this justice.
    It’s sublime. Paradise. Heaven on Earth. To walk around in human form and sense Uni-verse in all one sees and does is a blessing and sometimes a curse!! My deepest deepest hope is for ALL humanity to become this to allow the peace that passes all understanding to change the a World….has anyone else come across The World Transformation Movement? I have recently come across this and it seems to give clarity to our human “upset” and offers the understanding that each and every one of us is divine in nature and through the birth of consciousness we have become upset and feel lost & disorientated.
    The divine “I” my true Self often wishes “to go home” in the midst of grief and despair over what humans are doing to each other, creation, creatures, Mother Earth and then ever so gently the “I” reminds the self/my name – who I have come to be in human form – is reassured back to Love. To Truth. That all is well. That there is a plan. That I AM here. All is being revealed.
    In deepest Love. In deepest honour. In deepest reverence & awe I worship at the altar of Great Mystery….Source…..love…..GOD. And I am grateful. I still get so pissed off though!!! And then laugh at the absurdity of illusion. And then self/real/eyes its all ok!! I am who I AM. Let’s awaken and rejoice!!!!!! Wake up!!! And join the beautiful dance. 🙏🏽🦋💗😂🌟 do no harm….be kind & compassionate and UPLIFT

  9. Having a quiet mind or no thoughts is a little misleading. I liked how this article went into more depth and clarity about what type of thoughts we have and our needs to obsess and ruminate over them in self defeating ways.
    I also have had experienced moving beyond all thought.
    In 2012, after a lifetime of self inquiry into consciousness matters, I had the opportunity to use the gifts of a new teacher that, synchronistically, dropped into my life. It was the world’s most powerful entheogenic drug; DMT.
    In a “once in a lifetime” event, I sincerely went on an inward journey of awareness with the initial assistance of DMT which instantly opened my mind and being into the quantum realm of consciousness.
    I was taken way beyond the initial concept of “no thought” into the ONE MIND of all that is. I literally became the entangled state of ONENESS. The experience lasted way longer than it was supposed to in Earth Time. But I was way beyond the constraints of space or time.
    I also realized that my dreaming world had predicted this “peak” event for over 3 decades. It was meant to be. For myself, it was a massive explosion into infinite awareness beyond anything I could ever imagined. I was changed forever in many ways. Source can easily manipulate the physical expressions of “self” in any way it wishes. It usually has little need to do so. For each person is the extension of source oneness at all times. It’s built into our quantum biological nature.
    No thought, or little thought does not mean lack of information. In fact, it leads to vast realms of creative intelligent flow. There is never nothing going on. But I returned to the physical shell with many of the same frailties I had before the experience. I knew that “some” of the work is meant to be done by our human expressions of “self.” So now I perform sound healing, brain entrainment audio and spiritual guidance to get people into receptive states where they can begin accessing their own quantum awareness in natural ways.
    Ultimately, science and philosophy come from the same source; us. More than ever, these often diametrically opposed view points are coming together as one holistic vision of new possibilities.

  10. This was inspirational. As a psychologist, I used to do a lot of hypnosis. It is a form of meditation and I would enter a slower brainwave state along with my cients. While this occurred, I would recieve or connect with information which was not available when in a Beta problem-solving brainwave state. While driving up an Arkansas Mountain, I saw a blue aura surrounding the trees. I stopped the car and was enveloped in a state of oneness with the univrse and a feeling of agape, or universal love. I have not experienced this since and,at the time, I wanted it to last. This is research that we need more of. This is the answer to our problems of existance. Thank you.

  11. If anyone wants to see how a whole life lived this way took shape, read Michael Singer’s book, The Surrender Experiment. Pretty amazing when the DMN stops running interference patterns.

  12. Thank you for sharing your experience. The first time I had the experience of empty mind for an extended period of time I actually found it a bit disturbing….as if something was wrong. Who am I without my thoughts? It took a minute to realize what was happening before I was able to embrace the peace and quiet. I’m still working on the trust that the right words and actions will come without pre planning, but I’m now excited to keep allowing for it. Love to all on this path.

  13. I’ve had glimpses of this peace of mind. Unfortunately not as often as I would like to. It takes a lot of discipline. For me the awareness is a step in the right direction. Great article, thank you.

  14. Nice. Thoughts, when they become masters instead of being subordinates, cause mayhem and make living hell. It is a blessing to be consciously blanked out – one can not only be happy when awake but also enjoy peaceful and invigorating sleep.

    25 years were good investment – one has to hold on to this state and not lose it.

  15. This is an interesting and inspiring page! I found it in my daughter’s reference notes. My three girls are all well deep into the meditation practice and although I was introduced to it, it hasn’t become regular part of my life yet. I am a spiritual person and my reason for writing here is to share something about the fantastic notion of ‘letting go’ mentioned earlier. All my life I have been very cerebral, endlessly making plans to prevent the eventuality of failure or bad outcomes. I have stop now all that endless waste of energy. Instead I try best I know how to live my life in a state of awakened consciousness and when I am confronted with a difficult situation I just let everything go and put myself in the loving hands of the cosmic energy/force we call God. I am not religious, I am in my own path of growth and development ( as I believe we all are). But I can say that he/she/it has never let me down! And I am aiming to discover something I only know intuitively: that we are all in it together and we are one!

    • Thanks, yes I have been doing this also, to be responsible for my thoughts and yes, with help of Great Creator (Great Cosmos) we are all for 9ne and 9ne for all! We are the collective with Great Creator) and he is the 9ne for all!

  16. Wow ! Thank you . Something to aspire to.
    I would love itto happen to me , or rather that I could discover an O.Kness with what is without my mind creating thoughts of suffering !
    I caught myself yesterday stopping the suffering , but today I suffered till I readthis !
    I pray to find this .

  17. Its nice to read that I’m not crazy. On a September afternoon in 2007 I went home to quietly commit suicide. (My $40 million business was bankrupt!) During an interesting “let me get honest with myself before pulling the trigger” experience in my favorite recliner in my den at home, “I” disappeared. I had, up to that time been a successful entrepreneur and faithful Mormon. Since that time I have done nothing intentionally. Yet, life rolls on, and I patiently watch. I still see “the Jim”, as I call him (the mind formerly in charge of the self occupying this body) going about life’s duties. But since everything is perfect just as it is, including people (who aren’t real anyway), nothing needs to be done – unless it does – in which “the Jim” does it.

  18. Hi Jeff,

    That was great reading of someone functioning after his awakening from a scientific perspective.

    His recall of what it’s like during a state as described by Abraham Maslow as a Peak Experience is bang on. This is when the mind became absolutely still, void of all movements. In this, the physical left and brain goes into total coherency, functioning as one. Once that happens, the ability to tap into the Universal Intelligence becomes a normal daily activity.

    Though it may sound rare in earlier days to achieve such an elevated state of consciousness, it has now became quite a phenomenal with many reaching this state of clarity all around the world.

    Many ancient tools and teachings had also surfaced to assist humanity in this great shift without the need to pull out some teeth (hehe).

    And many of these countless awaken souls are now walking among us, living a “normal” life with families and jobs. Gone are the days where this awakening are done in mountain caves or hidden monastries… it is by far a greater impact to affect changes living among the crowds. Though these “enlighten” individuals still seek solitude and chill out time in nature or mountain tops, they continue to function as effective human beings doing what they do.

    We are living in interesting times now bearing witness to this global awakening. Ultimately, this quickening will burn up any sense of separation and bring together a collective whole to serve for a great good!!

    Just my humble two cents worth… Thank you!!
    ~ Taraka

    • Hi Taraka
      I understand very clearly what your saying and felt the pull to comment on this in the hopes of contacting you.

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