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Why Women are Against Feminism

By Azriel ReShel on Friday June 23rd, 2017

It's Not for the Reasons You Might Think

Increasingly women are declaring themselves against feminism. From popular groups like the nearly 50,000 strong Women Against Feminism social media movement, to the many women who didn’t support the women’s march earlier this year, women are turning their backs on feminism.

According to one survey, only 20 percent of women in the US consider themselves feminists. Why? Because women are seeing the feminist movement as angry and blaming men for women’s challenges. In another New York Times survey, results showed that only 18 percent of Americans consider themselves feminists, however, 85 percent claimed they believe in ‘equality for women’. Considering that believing in equality for women makes you a feminist, this is interesting, if not a little disturbing, especially in the light of increased violence against women. But what is most mystifying is the vitriol anti-feminist women are spouting towards feminists.

Yes, women are against feminism, but not for the reasons we think they are.

The misinterpretation of FeminismMany women see the feminist movement as angry and blaming men.

1. Women Are Against Feminism Because We’ve Settled

We’ve settled for the status quo. Perhaps we’re too tired to fight for more, exhausted from doing the lion’s share of domestic chores, working hard for less pay, single parenting, and juggling the monolithic demands put on us. So, we’ve settled. For lower salaries, for partners who don’t make the grade, for passionless lives, for less money for the same work. We don’t expect more from our sons, or male partners, or society, yet make excessive demands on ourselves. We are still caught in the programming of being the perfect, beautiful, successful, feminine, mother and/or career woman. And, more than ever, women are burning out with the crazy demands we pile on ourselves or allow society to place on us.

We’ve settled because we haven’t broken through the glass ceilings in ourselves. We’ve settled because we haven’t broken past the limitations we place on our own talents. We’ve settled because we don’t truly believe we deserve more.

2. Women Are Against Feminism Because We Victimise Ourselves

Women have been propping up men and male systems for centuries, in the shadows behind powerful men, having their talents unacknowledged or stifled while we are portrayed as less than men, and only good as sexual objects or mothers. Perhaps we’ve taken on some of this societal conditioning and this victimisation has become a well-trodden path in our own minds.

Ripples of changeBy stepping into our power, we can create ripples of change for future generations.

It’s time to take up our feminine power. To be feminine is to stand up for what is right. To be moved and to reach out and do something. To stop and help the homeless man in the street. To speak up for the unfair treatment of the underdog and to take a passionate stand for what we believe in. We are society’s conscience and the world needs us more than ever. We can be heard and create ripples of change.

Powerful women wear big girl panties – they are self-responsible, they call the shots in their own lives and take the fallout when they fail or make bad decisions. When you don’t objectify yourself and allow yourself to be objectified, especially sexually, you have agency, choice and power. Powerful women are unafraid of failure, being unpopular, of being vulnerable and taking the lonely road.

3. Women Are Against Feminism Because We Don’t Really Understand What it is

Feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. It is the idea that women should have the same rights and power as men. It is a movement that seeks to dismantle people being discriminated against for who they are; be it gay, a different race, transgender, disabled or female.

Feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexesFeminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

Feminism is about equality. The reality today is that over half the world’s population of women are in a position of less power. This is just a fact. More women are subjugated to men; are abused and raped. We do live in a world that is dominated by the patriarchal values and where men are in power. When last did you see a parliament filled with women, or a boardroom bursting at the seams with female CEOs? We’d be naive and unintelligent if we were to say that there is equality in the world. There just isn’t. This doesn’t make men wrong. This makes the systems wrong. And it’s time for a change. We will all thrive when there is fairness and women have more power.

Feminists are fighting for a good life for everyone, men included. We want all people to be free to live happily in safety, free from violence or slavery, and to have choices, respect and equality.

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence … If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled. – Emma Watson

Men are also imprisoned by gender stereotypesMen are also imprisoned by gender stereotypes.

4. Women Are Against Feminism Because We See a Skewed Version of Femininity

Women are against feminism because we want to be popular, seen as attractive, sexy and positive by men and society. It’s trendy to be ‘not a feminist’. It seems in today’s social media age, young women find it more important to be attractive to men than speak their mind or fight for what’s right. Feminism is perceived as something that is unfeminine, asexual and assigned to women who are aggressive, ugly and definitely single.

It’s time for the rise of feminine, powerful women – with all their feminine intuition, insight, softness, kindness, warmth, compassion, wisdom, power and strength fully realised. The world benefits when women are women. And women fighting other women are contributing to the separation they say feminism breeds.

We need to look to the amazing female feminist role models in the world today, like Malala Yousafzai, Jane Goodall, Emma Watson, Ellen Page, and so many others. The world needs this feminine power, not masculine women trying to fit into a patriarchal world. We need to bring feminine qualities to the corporate world, and feminine values to education, health and communities.

I don’t know why people are so reluctant to say they’re feminists … Maybe some women just don’t care. But how could it be any more obvious that we still live in a patriarchal world when feminism is a bad word? – Ellen Page

Femininity needs to be embracedWomen shouldn’t have to be masculine and fight their way into a patriarchal world.

5. Women Are Against Feminism Because We Haven’t Embraced True Sisterhood

Women around the globe are spruiking about the power of being in circle with their sisters and of standing strong together. Yet, some of these sisters are lobbying hatred at other women they’ve labelled as feminists. They’re criticising and shaming women who stand up for themselves and speak out about the issues facing all women, such as abuse, domestic violence, unequal pay, lack of choice, and unequal access to top positions.

Recently, my two oldest daughters, aged 12 and 13, were having a fight when one called the other fat, and the personal insults flew. I sat down with them and told them that as women, they are part of an ancient code that is in their DNA. While they have a familial bond, there is a bond that is so much more than that. The bonds of sisterhood. I told them, you are part of something far greater than yourselves and you must enter this sacred movement with gratitude, reverence and love. Your life will be rich with sisters, women who will be your friends, your support, those who understand you and love you. While men will also love and support you, you will need your sisters in life.

Perhaps it’s time to examine feminine values. To be a woman is to be inclusive, compassionate, strong and kind. Powerful women don’t criticise each other, compete, or tear each other down. They don’t screw each other’s partners. When women fight each other, everyone loses. We are the creators of life; we’re wild, magic beings of unfettered power, and it’s up to women to lead the way and hold up the torch of our highest self.

Femininity empowers us allThe inherent nature of Femininity is to empower one another.

6. Women Are Against Feminism Because We’re Afraid to Speak Up

Every nine seconds, a woman in the US is the victim of domestic violence. One in four women in America will experience domestic violence during their lifetime, and three women are murdered every day in the US by an intimate partner. In Australia, on average across 12 months, one woman is killed every week by a current or former partner. Of all Australian women, 25 percent have experienced sexual violence by someone they know and a quarter of all Aussie women have experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner. And, females are five times more likely than men to require medical attention after being abused by a partner. If you’re not feeling motivated to stand up for equality for women after reading that, then I don’t what will motivate you to create a different world for yourself, your sisters and your own daughters.

Women are being killed for being women, and because men are using their physical strength to dominate and control. Men get abused and raped too, but mostly a man can walk down a street without fear of attack, or fearing for his safety in the way a woman does when down a dark street at dusk or in a bar full of drunk men. How many more women must die at the hands of domestic violence or abuse before we say: “That’s enough, no more.”

7. Women Are Against Feminism Because We Don’t See the Truth

We don’t see the extent of the abuse of our sisters. The families selling their daughters into sexual slavery in Asia, due to poverty. The young street girls being forced to satisfy white men in Thailand, or the girls married off to men old enough to be their grandfathers. We don’t see the women who are under their father or brother’s control and have absolutely no power over their lives. We are blind to the truth because we live selfish, privileged lives of excess in the West. Our sisters and brothers need us. Domestic violence is growing. While these are extreme cases of inequality, don’t think your own life situation is equal and that, as a woman, you are getting a fair deal.

The different faces of sexismSexism appears in many different ways, in different areas of the world.

While far less radical, but no less important, a friend who is buying a new home recently shared how she was being treated as a non-entity by the real estate agents, who focused solely on her husband and blatantly ignoring her presence. What is noteworthy here, is that firstly – these agents were women, and secondly – she is an accountant and the one who manages the family’s finances. It seems some women have adhered – consciously or unconsciously – with the patriarchy in dismissing women as inferior, or believe that women have very little power or say, so don’t bother with them.

The contribution made by women to society is grossly undervalued, so much so that women themselves don’t value what they do. How many mothers are asked what work they do, only to reply, “I don’t work, I’m just a mum.”  We do not value women in the same way we value men, and it’s become so ingrained in our consciousness that we don’t even realise we women are perpetuating this.

8. Women Are Against Feminism Until We Believe Something Different is Possible

The world cannot continue without the fullness of over half its people. Today, there is no other option but to be a feminist and to work for equality for all. The world needs you and we need everyone to be a feminist, if we are all to live a better life.

The revolution begins inside each one of usThe revolution begins inside each one of us, men and women.

The revolution begins inside each one of us. And it’s not a revolution of women. It’s a revolution of feminine values, awakening in both men and women. It’s time we believed we can be more than we are; that we demand more from others and the world. That we believe in a better future for all, and in the truth that we can create this future, together.

None of us are free until every last person is living in freedom, and feminism is about fighting for this liberty and each individual’s freedom to choose what’s right for him or her.

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. – Nelson Mandela

Azriel ReShel

Writer, Editor, Yoga Teacher & Healing Facilitator

 

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31 Responses to Why Women are Against Feminism

  1. I think one of the reasons why women do not want to be feminism is that in striving to have equal value with men, the feminists have lost identity. They have decided that equal value means the same, when being a woman is not the same as being a man. So women want to be different to men, and the more extreme feminist pushes aim for women to be the same as men – when they are not. (After all, if they were, why do men and women not compete in the same sports against one another?)
    Men do not aim to be equal to women. Most of them do not aspire to give birth, breastfeed or many other things that is a genetic possibility by being a woman. So why do some feminists aim to be the same as men?
    Additionally, I think this ‘equality’ push also erodes the identity of not just women, but young men. They are defined as a man in negative stereotypes, and almost none of the positive attributes. After all, feminism declares, being the breadwinner is not what being a man is about (and they’re right, by the way). However, to so many millions of adolescent teenagers in the world toda,y this begs the question – So if a strong career to support a family is NOT what a man is – what is? (There are good answers, but I won’t go there due to space).
    I completely concur that the push for equal value amongst men and women is something that is in desperate need in many countries of the world. Women are still in slavery and treated as chattel in far too many places in the world – and this is unspeakably wrong.
    However, in the confines of our safe first world society – there are other issues, like answering the questions “What does it mean to be a successful woman?” and “What does it mean to be a successful man?”
    Unfortunately too much of the feminist agenda has answered the “Successful woman” answer with “To be exactly the same as a successful man.” Which I would argue is the exact reason why women reject feminism.

    • I don’t think it’s exactly an issue of public debate as to what constitutes success for anyone, as surely this is an entirely personal judgement. Life is not lived from the successes we create by the feelings and experiences we have, of which a part “might” be success – however that’s defined.

      Frankly, this whole notion of success and failure is just more of the left brain, militaristic, dominating male-think that we’ve put up with for 10,000 years and which now needs to change in favour of female AND male thinking, and any other genders for that matter.

      I don’t see how asking for equality erodes anything. We should be asking a deeper question which is “who and what am I”. Because you are not your gender, nor even your personality most of which have been crafted in the class room of planet earth to help you survive, but are not who or what you actually are.

      Can we quit with the grandiose generalisations discussing women in the abstract as tho we are all identical please. Let’s get real. My career has suffered, my health has suffered and my finances have suffered because of subtle sexism in the workplace meaning I never advanced, despite being very capable, and I was marginalised and frozen out of team meetings.

      “Unfortunately too much of the feminist agenda has answered the “Successful woman” answer with “To be exactly the same as a successful man.” Which I would argue is the exact reason why women reject feminism.”

      I don’t agree. My experience is that being a feminist is used as yet another way to denigrate or put women down, and as women don’t want that to happen to them, they don’t overtly identify with the term. I’m not sure where it is, but there seems to be a school somewhere which all men attend in order to learn the skills of invalidating women, mocking them and generally manipulating them out of their points of view. I’m not saying they do it with malice aforethought or consciously, but most men will try to patronise their partner out of discussing whatever they don’t want to discuss or otherwise humiliating her for taking a stand on something.

      We all need to be retrained, and I suspect we will all become somewhat more androgynous. Femininity and masculinity, as they are portrayed in our society, are exaggerated stereotypes that ignore the inclinations of the individual and are mainly a role that we play, not a biological inevitability, although there is research that suggests gender differences that are nature rather than nurture.

      Far more to the point to say that each individual should be valued, nurtured and encouraged no matter their gender status.

    • Babs, your comment is just spot on. Men and women ARE different and no matter how much women (and men) contrive to equalise them it will always be so. Instead of going to great lengths remaking women in a man’s image (I.e. equality of outcome) we ought to be investing our time and effort in celebrating the difference and uniqueness of each. We are different sides of the same coin after all.

      No reasonable person in the civilised Western countries would disagree with the idea of equality between men and woman and the fact that so few people identify with the current incarnation of feminism should make it patently clear that that’s not what is about.

  2. This article is attempting to deflect the blame for the decline in support for modern feminism. Modern feminism in no longer about equality. Women have equality in the western world. Today’s feminism is about power and politics. Modern feminism is increasingly anti male, anti white and anti conservative. A far cry from being a movement for women. Women see it that and are rejecting it’s current incarnation in record numbers.

  3. …because there has always been an element of insanity in the doctrines, ideas and actions of members, and, women have always been wise, educated and thinking enough to see it for what it is. The difference is the crazy is really out there for all to see with the advent of social media. The crazy and the refutation are bigger than ever.

  4. You have the idealistic definition of feminism, which I can’t help but agree with, but like the Communist movement of the 20th century, the ideal has been corrupted by the overwhelming noise of haters and hostiles, so much that their presence on social media is self-defeating. When you have literally thousands of hater feminists bullying, mocking, and attacking anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with their views, you begin to get a bad taste in your head.

    • Communism was never corrupted, even Karl Marx said the lower classes were going to have to kill off the upper classes. The communists always left that part out.

  5. Thank you. As a 58yo I was deeply wounded by the feminist movement back in the 70s just because I was heterosexual. Not a nice experience at 15yoa. I believe Women were robbed of their sacredness by Women as much as men too and I’m glad I’m still alive to be part of the All encompassing movement of non-feminist women at last. Hooray!!!

    • Because it’s uplifting helping men, males; females don’t know or care how to do that. Females are all for females, “equality”, right?!? ..bullsh*t.

  6. I couldn’t bring myself to read the whole article due to my disgust at the authors belittling of women, women are strong and most know their own minds and desires and are more than willing to chase their dreams and ambitions.
    The author seems to make them out to be little more than spoilt or lazy or stupid for no other reason than that they don’t agree with the authors ideology, did it never occur to the author that this kind of self serving superiority and closed minded thinking could be why so many people are turning away from the feminist brand?
    People want and believe in equality however they see feminism as having moved away from the dictionary definition towards something ugly and so they reject it.
    These are strong women who see the world as it is warts and all and make up their own minds and they have decided to reject the label of feminist.

    • feminists have adopted lgbt ideology, “genderism”, “gender identity”, pseudo-science theory, and have moved away from equal rights of sexes, to gender identity and discrimination against men.
      I believe that lezbos took over feminist movement, and I am not alone, a lot of women believe the same…
      It would be a scandal, when some day someone reveals the truth about lgbt and feminist movements, and who is behind that (corporate fascists, and men from 1%).

  7. It’s precisely because of the male bashing/blaming radical gender feminists who promote misandry and female victimhood according to equity feminists Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers. They profess to speak for all women when in reality women have been driven away in droves because of this. They promote women as weak and not responsible for their own actions and choices and therefore VICTIMS. They also fail to address the crimes against nature and transgressions committed by women against men and children. Like Paternity Fraud and no post conception choices for men who share the same exact reasons for not being ready for fatherhood as 99% of women who receive on demand abortions. A large percentage of these males unable to convince their pregnant girlfriends to get an abortion are victims of conception by deception. Sentenced to becoming a father before they are ready to accept the responsibility both emotionally, behaviorally or financially. False accusations of both physical violence and sexual assault/rape have been scientifically proven to approach 40%-45% of all accusations during decades long studies. All this talk of pay disparity in the workforce when women completely avoid the subject and fact that women avoid the dirty, uncomfortable, physical jobs in nasty environments, ie the trades jobs which GUARANTEE equal pay that MUST be done by somebody and that somebody is almost entirely left up to men inventing, constructing, maintaining our infrastructure, housing, roads, transportation, communication,etc. Women refuse to sweat, work in freezing/high temperature, muddy, stinky, high altitude, possibly dangerous environments even though they use everything that men invent, build, create, maintain. But they have no qualms against demanding that men help out around the house more doing the domestic jobs that women still find themselves having to do. Now tell us one more time which sex has been propping up the opposite sex for lo these last few thousand years.

  8. It could be that a lot of women don’t see the opposite sex as the enemy. A lot of feminists have a hard time wrapping their minds around that. Its pretty strange how women in foreign nations are treated so badly, yet feminists are completely silent on that issue, but can’t stop talking about “oppression” of women in western countries. Amazing how some women can see through the hypocrisy of feminism.

  9. Feminism, equal opportunity and rights for women, just attacked the “grid girls” on Nascar. Win for feminism? Yes, but look up what those girls, whom feminism “saved” have to say about it. They loved their jobs, and because of feminism they can’t do what they wanted….power to the woman am I right?

  10. I’m a woman against feminism because I don’t feel oppressed, I feel equal, I am treated fairly, and I have been treated worse by feminists then men. That is why I am a woman against feminism.

  11. I wish so so much that feminism would die.. females (majority) are all mentally and personality wise completely f-cked up! And it’s killing us REAL MEN. I’m not “crazy” or “hate women”, we MEN NEED WOMEN, badly.. they’re are no women anymore, thats what this “feminism” bs has done. Females are a—holes now, PYSCHO, b-tchy, arrogant, racist STILL..(sadly.. painfully), shallow, just completely jerks these days.. especially the beautiful, attractive beautiful slim, nice body ones. They have HORRIBLE attitudes and make us REAL MEN’S attitudes bad and angry and upset and they absolutely do nothing about it but laugh or prove its a fact.. everything I say. Feminism is WRONG! Just like misogyny, RIGHT.., you equality lying b-tches?!?? Femininity is so beautiful and what WOMEN, especially for us dying REAL men want and need badly. But females are a lost mentally f-cked up cause:””( Im so completely alone and sexually deprived and frustrated because I speak my mind, feminism is for equality?! BULLSH-T. No its not, its for females to be -ssholes, bash men, yet we can’t and aren’t supposed to “bash women” when WE ARENT EVEN BASHING “women”, we’re bashing b-tches, which is what females have all become. Making us men who want and need WOMEN, die and so alone. Females just really don’t get it and they never will. Females are killing this world because females hate being WOMEN. They want to be men. And more importantly, you females have made a truly rare great guy and heart and person die and not exist anymore because you females ignore me, never respond in person, or “dating” sites, “interracial dating sites” yeah right… all I wanted was outside of black, because dark/black females are not attractive TO ME, and Im tired of them, and I don’t like fat big females. Im so pissed off that you attractive slim so beautiful sexy white or asian or any other race females, that are here in Maryland, DC are all such impossible a—holes, and racist only towards me, all my life, no matter how hard I tried and I even transformed myself through serious hard hard work trying to finally be “good enough” to be noticed or attractive to get what I wanted and white or asian or attractive slim beautiful females are still just what they all are… jerks, shallow, b-tches, stuck up, and you people delete me and my comments, literally everywhere, get me banned, taking away my rights, my existence,.. because Im speaking truth and sad painful facts that females hate. I just wanted interracial dating and sex, BETTER, attractive, slim slender, beautiful.. white or asian or just not black.. a girlfriend.. and not ghetto, because Im not ghetto. Females just don’t get that they are the -ssholes these days. Not us men. Im dying because of females these days. Attractive females are not women at all anymore, and it hurts because so called women are not women anymore at all.. they’re all feminist entitled arrogant racist selectively careless attention whore PLAY victims-b-tches who just can’t be told anything unless its about catering to females, money, bashing men, or stupid bs females only stupidly like or do pay attention to. Smdh.. it’s seriously sad and hurts that you females are the way you all are; especially you white or asian or other race-attractive slim beautiful nice body ones, you females are killing us very rare truly actually real great men and hearts for the garbage you all only do pay attention to because they chase you or are the stupid bs you white ones pay attention to. Im so pissed off that I will never get to marry or have kids, A FAMILY, because I can’t have a woman and the race I want. And these horrible females have literally made me die and not exist anymore and don’t care smmfh

    • Each person is responsible for the things they do and say, so when men say that its because of “feminism” they treat women bad…its nothing more than an excuse not to hold themselves responsible for their own choice for being abusive.

  12. Seriously,why is this even a topic of discussion…bottom Line is without women there will be no more people. We are whole and complete human beings as we are. We can achieve any goal and become anything we want. Anything else is the same as having no life at all…we were not put on earth to be be abused or degraded. We are now more than half the worlds population and still have to fight for basic human rights. If we treated men like they have treated us,they would never survive the experience!

  13. All women no matter what their color or ethnic back ground have or will experience some form of harassment or sexual discrimination at some point in their life. Its 2018 and for 3000 years women and girls are still considered the “weaker” sex,and treated in many parts of the world like a non-human and given no basic human rights. In parts of Africa and the middle east women and girls are bought and sold in local slave trade. They are considered a mans property and can be beaten, raped and murdered with no repercussions to the man. They simply go purchase another female and start the living hell for her. This is what we get with a patriarchal society. When men are not held to high societal standards of behavior women and girls will always suffer and pay the price for the abuse. Same applies to womens health and reproductive status. Womens issues should be left for women to decide. But a patriarchal society can only stay in control by controlling everything female related possible.

    This is not a mans world its a world we share and if women treated males like they have been treated throughout history they would not be able to handle it. Without women there are no more people. God made us different but equal, its the human male who decided on his own he was superior and that it was alright for him to degrade and destroy Gods creation.

    Feminism has never been about hating men, its been about changing the way men have treated women…we are whole and complete as we are and no matter the challenge women and girls have proven over the centuries there is nothing and no man who can destroy our tenacity…on we march!

  14. This article gives me the impression that the author has not actually *listened* to women who reject Feminism as a movement, or who at least feel uncomfortable fully embracing it. The article implies that women who do so are fearful, tired, short-sighted, ill-equipt or uninformed, rather than recognizing that many women are taking this stance for precisely the opposite reasons. Some feel that the current Feminist agenda promotes a narrative of victimhood. That it suggests that women are NOT strong, that we need to be protected from men, from scary words, from spirited debates. Some feel that the Feminist narrative is inherently sexist itself- however much some of it’s members insist that “no one is bashing men”. I don’t believe that we are finished. I strongly believe that many womens issues still need to be addressed, and that Feminism remains an important cause. But I also believe that it, as a community, needs to re-evaluate it’s image, and it’s messages.

  15. Lol this article is so skewed. Different career paths appeal to women then men, on average. Statistically, men often choose career fields that pay more than fields which women choose. Less women work from their 30s on due to children and families. More men are in the workforce, in general. I think there are a lot more factors to look at then simply just stats without questioning skewed data. Either way, I am a career woman whom would not want to be lumped into a category with most modern day feminist. They appear emotional and whiny, which are characteristics that should NOT exist in the working world in the first place, at least not in the office environment. I say the women whom are career-driven and hardworking are doing just fine against their male counterparts and these women aren’t complaining about equality. They are too busy actually proving their worth, like any other working-class citizen.

  16. I think the content of this article is indicative of why many women choose to not indentify as being part of the feminist movement and community. The article promotes the view that to be feminine (feminist) is to be some sort of godlike being that few people can live up to and even fewer desire to.

    By asserting this definition of what the author she believes all women should be it indirectly asserts that any women that doesn’t aspire to take on the responsibility of leadership or to work in industries they have no passion for or what the sexual attention of others as being lacking in the qualities of being a women.

    It short this article does exactly the sort of harm by placing unrealistic expectations and pressure on women that it blames the “patriacical society” for.

    Why would a women join a movement that claims she isn’t good enough at being a women?

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